I caught my reflection in a spoon.

"I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking: 'Wow, you're ridiculously good looking.  Maybe you could do that for a career.'"

I think that it's safe to say that if you know what movie that quote comes from, we can be friends.  Really.  Honestly.  I wouldn't lead you on like that.

I guess it would be misleading to say that it was a spoon, though.  I'm not anal enough to polish my spoons, OK?  That would just be weird.  Besides, when I'm eating cereal, I'm eating cereal.  I'm not staring at my spoon...no matter how ridiculously good looking I am.

Honest.

I do feel better this week, though.  I actually have facial hair again!  Once you read that sentence, imagine a chorus of angels singing "Alleluia" and you'll understand how I said it in my head.  Well, it made sense in there, too.  In the immortal words of Mitch Hedberg: "Go into my head, come back out, and tell me I'm wrong."

Where were we?

Oh yes - the facial hair.  My apologies.

I'll be honest.  I didn't really notice it until I snapped an unrelated picture with my webcam.  (Side note: is it still unrelated now that I'm using it here?  I don't think so.  I think that makes it related.)

I also noticed a few other things:

• I need to shave the sides of my head again.
• I need to trim parts of my mohawk.
• It was 10:28 in the morning when I took that picture.
• The picture makes me look like I read the Twilight series.

I need to make it clear that I do not.  I think I'd rather put my testicles into a food processor before I would read that series.  That might seem a bit extreme...until you realize that we're talking about the Twilight series.  Vampires that sparkle when they're in the sunlight?  Really?  But I digress.

After noticing all of that, I noticed that I could actually see my facial hair again.  This was a glorious discovery.  I would rank it among such great discoveries as the polio vaccine and the atom smasher.

I immediately felt outclassed, however, after seeing Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows.  What happened to awesome facial hair being the norm?  We need to bring that shit back, stat.  Handlebar mustaches especially.  You know a guy is serious when he has a full beard, a 3-piece suit, and a fedora.  Add a cane and it's an unbeatable combo.  We must revitalize it.  Give me a few weeks, though, so I'll at least fit in.

S'pose I ought to post a picture, yeah?

I'm hoping for a mini-Gandalf beard by the end of the year.  Am I shooting too high?  Probably.  But it would be awesome.

Nick